“Whatever you want. Consider it a reward for a job almost well-done.”

The two Sakatas wander off into the neon-lit streets, leaving chaos in their wake— a tradition as old as time, or at least as old as the two of them combined.

+++

(starting to walk off, hands in pockets) “He’s cool alright, but got plenty of inner demons, like someone I know. Now come on—I promised you steak.”

“Hey, Toji! Same time next month? I hear there’s a underground fight ring in Shibuya that’s looking for new ‘talent.'”

(patting Kin on the shoulder) “You did great. Very heroic. Very stupid. Exactly what I’d expect. This was very different from our usual jobs. You kinda look like you enjoyed it! “

(from the doorway, winking) “I’d say ‘try it,’ but it would be a lost cause.” (tossing Don Tonkatsu a casino chip) “For your troubles. Better luck next time… if there is a next time.”

“Ah, but here’s the thing about estimates. They don’t account for the variables you haven’t met yet.”

“Now, now. Don’t reach for that gun. I’m not here to fight you. I’m here to make you an offer. You give me the manuscript, I walk away, and we both pretend this never happened. You keep your money, your reputation, and your attachment to your spleen.”

(finally dropping the act, his smile sharpening into something cold) “You recently acquired some interesting reading material. A manuscript, I believe. Very old. Very cursed. Very much not yours. “

(yawning) “Define ‘here.’ Metaphysically, I haven’t been ‘here’ in years. But if you mean at this specific table, playing cards with a man whose henchmen have collectively threatened to kill me fourteen times in the last forty-five minutes—yeah, mostly for the atmosphere.”

(tossing a stack of chips onto the table with the careless air of someone who has never seen a financial consequence in his life) “Let’s just say I’ve been saving up for a rainy day. Figured this storm looked interesting enough to open the umbrella.”

(grinning, the smile not reaching his eyes) “I’m Gintoki. Gintoki Sakata. I run a business that specializes in solving problems. Tonight, my problem is that I’m bored, and I heard you were the man to watch if you want to see some real action. So—what do you say? You, me, a friendly game of poker? No limit?”

” Pork Chop, Don Tonkatsu…semantics, same difference. Anyway, I’m a fan! Huge fan. The way you took over the Kansai family after the old boss had his ‘accident’—textbook stuff, really. I mean, textbook in the sense of like… a textbook on violence and general disregard for human life. Good stuff. Very inspirational.”

(sliding into the empty seat beside Don Tonkatsu, now wearing an unbuttoned silk shirt and an expression of exaggerated boredom) “Well, well, well. If it isn’t the famous Don Tonkatu-san. Heard you’ve been having a lucky night.”

“Tch! Oi! Can it, Gold. You’re not getting a cut either because you pulled me into this and your ‘justice’ speech is going to get us thrown out before we even start.”

(waving his spoon dismissively) “Rich idiot? Oi! That’s not acting, that’s just Tuesday for me. But fine, fine. What’s my cut again?”

(slouched in a velvet chair, spoonful of strawberry parfait halfway to his mouth, eyes half-closed) “…So let me get this straight. You’re telling me that you, the guy who looks like he swallowed a vending machine and decided to become an assassin, somehow got dragged into a ‘team-up’ by my duplicate version over there, and the plan…

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The chaos in this class! Oi oi! Just remember the importance of the Jump manga in your life and bring me a copy to get extra credit!